What if every tiny criticism (real or imagined) felt like a full-body betrayal?

In this validating and deeply personal episode, ADHD educator and author Jesse J. Anderson joins Alice to unpack what rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD) really feels like, and how it’s shaped his relationships, self-perception, and emotional responses.

Jesse shares how RSD used to hijack his nervous system, leading to blow-ups in conversations with his wife and shame spirals that lasted for days. But over time, he’s learned to pause, name what’s happening, and create space for a different response.

You’ll hear:

• How RSD distorts emotional cues and triggers emotional overwhelm

• Why Jesse used to “blow up” and what he does differently now

• The therapist phrase that helped him access logic in the middle of a spiral

• What happens when ADHDers interpret normal conflict as deep rejection

• Why emotional regulation looks different for ADHD brains, and why it matters

• How Jesse’s layoff pushed him to lean on community instead of hiding

This episode is a must-listen for anyone with ADHD—or anyone who loves someone with it.

Chapters:

00:50 Intro
02:21 Jesse on being the “bad kid” with undiagnosed ADHD
05:33 What rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD) actually feels like
10:10 The therapist phrase that changed everything
13:55 ADHD and marriage: how Jesse nearly blew it
17:42 Learning to pause before blowing up
21:05 Jesse’s “hand over mouth” moment
23:18 Getting laid off and going public
26:50 The healing power of community
31:45 Why ADHD friendships often fall apart
35:22 Jesse’s app idea for remembering friends
38:10 Grieving the ADHD kid you were
41:03 How Jesse shows up differently now
45:12 Where to find Jesse and his work

Resources & Links:

Jesse's book, Extra Focus: https://www.amazon.com/Extra-Focus-Quick-Start-Guide/dp/B0CGKL5FGF

Follow Jesse on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adhdjesse/

Follow Jesse's Substack: https://substack.com/@adhdjesse